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| The Guide to Self-Help Books |
Gay and Lesbian Issues |
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Alfred Kinsey shocked the nation with his assertion in The Kinsey Report (1948) that ten per cent of the male population of the United States was homosexual. There is continuing debate over the exactness of that estimate, but since that time millions of gay men and women have begun to live their lives with an openness unimaginable at any previous time in the history of this country. Continue reading article on Gay and Lesbian Issues» The books and DVDs in this section address the complex issues around defining an identity as a gay man or woman; dealing with the process of coming out and claiming a new identity; and the effects on families – parents, siblings, spouses, children – of this new identity. Medical and health concerns are also addressed in many of the volumes. See also: Intimate Relationships; Men’s Sexual Health; Women’s Sexual Health; Sexuality; Self-Esteem and Assertiveness |
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After Stonewall (DVD) John Scagliotti, director The companion film to Before Stonewall, this documentary explores gay history in the US from the 1970's through the 1990's. Perhaps the most significan contribution of the film is its mapping of a gay presence within popular media. DVD Release Date: 2005 Studio: First Run Features |
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Anal Pleasure and Health: A Guide for Men and Women Jack Morin An Amazon reader-reviewer writes: “This book is indispensable reading for anybody thinking of exploring anal eroticism in any or all of its forms . . . Morin spends as much time focusing on using fingers, tongues and toys as he does on intercourse and he emphasizes becoming comfortable with your body and finding what (if any) forms of anal stimulation you enjoy.” 1998, Down There Presss |
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Becoming a Man: Half a Life Story Paul Monette Winner of the National Book Award, this eloquent memoir focuses on Monette’s early family life and education. Two major themes are traced through this story: the pain and anguish of being in the closet and his fear of and fury at AIDS and homophobia. This poetic, political, angry, life-embracing book is an intense record of struggle and salvation. 1993, HarperSanFrancisco |
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Becoming Gay: The Journey to Self-Acceptance Richard Isay This book deals with challenges to self-acceptance under many life conditions: adolescence, married with children, HIV infected or living with AIDS, older age and career transitions. A helpful book for those struggling with self-acceptance. 1966, Random House |
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The Best Little Boy in the World John Reid (Andrew Tobias) Tobias was raised in an upper-middle class family and was an all-American boy-next-door type who was good at school, good at sports, respectful of elders, always fulfilling expectations. He relates his anguished attempts to masquerade as normal. This is a classic account of growing up gay in America, first published in 1973 under the pseudonym John Reid and updated with a new introduction by Tobias, a well-known author of financial self-help books. 1993, Ballantine Books |
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The Celluloid Closet |
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Christianity, Social Tolerance and Homosexuality: Gay People in Western Europe from the Beginning of the Christian Era to the Fourteenth Century John Boswell This highly acclaimed study of the history of attitudes toward homosexuality in the Christian west challenges received opinion and our own preconceptions about the Church’s past relationship to its gay members among whom were priests, bishops and canonized saints. A ground-breaking work. 1981, University of Chicago Press |
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Coming Out: An Act of Love Rob Eichberg Coming Out, written for both men and women, is a step-by-step guide to understanding and accepting your homosexuality and dealing with others’ reaction to it. Eichberg explains in detail how coming out radically alters self-perception and your relationships with others. This book continually reaffirms gayness as a gift for everyone, straight and gay, and can be read by gay people coming to terms with their sexuality and by their parents, friends and co-workers. He emphasizes that one person’s actions of self-respect and love can begin to change the world. 1991, Plume Books |
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Coming Out of Shame: Transforming Gay and Lesbian Lives Gershen Kaufman and Lev Raphael The authors examine how internalized shame and fear impact self-esteem, identity and intimacy in the life experiences of lesbians and gay men. They propose a “re-parenting” imagery approach to diminish shame in individuals in relationships. 1997 Main Street Books |
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For Lesbian Parents: Your Guide to Helping Your Family Grow Up Happy, Healthy, and Proud Suzanne M. Johnson, Elizabeth O'Connor The authors, both developmental psychologists, are co-parenting two daughters. Their book offers help on explaining lesbianism to children and explores what lesbian parents can do to help children explain their family situation to their peers. The book also addresses the complexity of dealing with the attitudes of the outside world, including relatives, school, and doctors or mental health specialists. 2001, The Guilford Press |
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The Gay and Lesbian Self-Esteem Book: A Guide to Loving Ourselves
Kimeron Hardin This personal growth book is specifically aimed at helping gays and lesbians deal with the very particular issues they have in their lives. Hardin examines feelings of shame left over from childhood; discusses how careers, relationships and lifestyle choices are affected by self-doubts; and suggests a variety of proven healing strategies. 1999, New Harbinger |
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The Invention of Heterosexuality Jonathan Katz Katz argues that heterosexuality is a social construct rather than a natural and unambiguous given. He contends that heterosexuality as the universal normative ideal was invented by men like Freud and Krafft-Ebing. Prior to the late nineteenth century the social universe was not polarized into “hetero” and “homo.” This provocative work challenges rigid notions of gender identity. 1966, Plume Books |
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Lesbian Couples: A Guide to Creating Healthy Relationships Merilee Clunis and Dorsey Green For lesbians (as for all couples) achieving and sustaining intimacy remains a challenge. From mind-reading and making assumptions to conflict and disillusionment, the book examines the strengths and weakness, flagging potential problem areas and offering real-life examples and solutions to the challenges lesbian couples experience. 2005, Seal Press | ||
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The Lesbian Couples Guide Judith McDaniel A complete guide to lesbian relationships that explores both the practical and emotional dimensions of being a lesbian couple in today’s society. Nine representative couples are followed with attention to becoming couples, living together, sexuality, parenting and power issues. 1995, Perennial Currents |
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Lesbian Love Companion: How to Survive Everything from Heartthrob to Heartbreak Marny Hall Solid advice on relationships, self awareness and self esteem. Many readers find liberating Hall’s explanation that sequential relationships are common, and do not represent a failure at life and love. An encouraging and affirming book. 1998, HarperSanFrancisco |
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Living Two Lives: Married to a Man and In Love with a Woman Joanne Fleisher In 1979, author Fleisher was married, a mother of two - and fell in love with a female friend. Everything changed. Now a licensed clinical social worker, she brings her wealth of insight to this guide to help married wormen navigate the stages of coming out: initial feelings of same sex attraction, telling husbands and children, managing a roller coaster of emotions, developing a support system, dating, and, finally, moving into a new chapter of life. 2005, Alyson Books |
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The Making of a Gay and Lesbian Community: Before Stonewall (DVD) John Scagliotti, Greta Schiller, directors This documentary covers the evolution of gay culture in the US from the early 1920's to the Stonewall riot of 1969. Including archival footage and photography, the film features the gay underground of the '20s and '30s, the rise of gay service in the military and workforce during WWII, the persecution of gays by Senator McCarthy, and the growth of the first grassroots political organizations for gay men and lesbians in the '50s. DVD Release Date: May 18, 2004 Studio: First Run Features |
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Men Like Us; The GMHC Complete Guide to Gay Men’s Sexual, Physical, and Emotional Well-Being Daniel Wolfe Daniel Wolfe’s enlightening and encyclopedic guide to gay men’s health can usher anyone through the major crises of life and offers sane advice on gay-specific issues, from coming out to harassment to spirituality within mainstream and alternative religions. An essential resource for healthcare providers, therapists and educators. 2000, Ballantine Books |
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Mom, Dad, I’m Gay: How Families Negotiate Coming Out Ritch Savin-Williams As mainstream America becomes more aware of the non-heterosexual community, gay, lesbian, transgendered and bisexual teenagers are revealing their sexual identities to their parents at a younger age than ever before. Drawing from over one hundred and fifty original interviews with teens, Dr. Savin-Williams separates fact from fiction in this survey of coming-out experiences. He offers advice on how parents can help to negotiate the coming-out process and learn to support their child’s emerging sexual identity. 2001, American Psychological Association |
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My Own Country: A Doctor’s Story Abraham Verghese Nestled in the Smokey Mountains of eastern Tennessee, the town of Johnson City saw its first AIDS patient in August, 1985. Working in Johnson City was Abraham Verghese, a young Indian doctor specializing in infectious diseases who became, by necessity, the local AIDS expert. He writes of his experience with conservative mountain families who welcomed home their gay sons who had contracted the disease and had come home to die. The book, nominated for the National Book Critics Circle award, is an uplifting portrait of the challenges and triumphs of love and families. 1995, Vintage |
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Now That You Know: What Every Parent Should Know About Homosexuality Betty Fairchild and Nancy Hayward This book can bring comfort to family members who are dealing with coming-out issues. It details the complex feelings that may accompany this experience, the possibility of rejection but especially the love and acceptance that can be experienced by gays when they reveal their whole selves. 1998, Harcourt |
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Now That You’re Out of the Closet: What About the Rest of the House? Linda Handel This self-help guide for gay men and lesbians covers a range of self-esteem and relationship issues including sex addiction, spirituality, aging, and alcoholism. A clear non-judgmental guide. 2000, Source Books |
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The Other Side of the Closet: The Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families Amity Buxton In two million marriages, one spouse is gay, lesbian or bisexual. Having a spouse or parent disclose his or her same sex attraction can be a shattering experience fraught with pain, confusion, anger, and loss of self-esteem. Buxton offers constructive coping strategies that spouses and children have used to resolve problems of sexual damage, family breakdown, deception, and homophobia. 1994, Wiley |
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Out and About on Campus: Personal Accounts by Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered College Students Kim Howard and Annie Stevens This book contains many first-person stories of GLBT youth on campus and range from tales of intolerant classmates, gay bashings, and episodes of self-loathing to an increasing acceptance of diversity on college campuses. Many contributors describe their political activism on campus and their service work for other gay students. These students carved out a place of honesty and integrity for themselves, and their stories will help others to follow in their footsteps. 2000, Alyson Publications |
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Out of the Past: The Struggle for Gay and Lesbian Rights in America (DVD) Jeffrey Dupre, director This solid documentary on the gay community is part history lesson, including profiles of obscure gay and lesbian historical figures, and part smart reporting, covering the story of a young lesbian's attempts to form a Gay-Straight-Alliance club in Salt Lake City. The film is a dialogue between past and present, and an emotionally textured treatise on alienation and marginalization. DVD Release Date: April 26, 2005 Studio: Allumination |
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Outing Yourself: How to Come Out as Lesbian or Gay to your Family, Friends and Coworkers Michelangelo Signorile This fourteen-step program, complete with exercises, meditation notes and anger checks, and the accounts of the coming-out experiences of other lesbians and gay men shows how to successfully handle this life changing process. “The stress of coming out will never be as hard on you as the stress of staying in was.” (from the book) 1996, Fireside |
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Out on Holy Ground: Meditations on Gay Men’s Spirituality Donald Boisvert A pioneering look at gay men’s spirituality. 2000, Pilgrim Press |
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Overcoming Heterosexism and Homophobia James Sears and Walter Williams The book provides strategies that can be adopted by educators, counselors, community activists and leaders and those working in the lesbian and gay community. Role-playing exercises, suggestions for beginning a dialogue, and methods of coming out effectively to family members and co-workers are included. 1997, Columbia University Press |
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Sex and spirit: Exploring Gay Men's Spirituality Robert Barzan This book is an exciting and provocative collection of essays highlighting a variety of approaches to spirituality. Essays address a twelfth century monastic community based on man-to-man love; the shamanic foundation of the Wizard of Oz; Zen as a tradition compatibile with gay male spirituality; and healthy sexuality and how it brings healing to the whole person. 1985, White Crane Press |
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Southern Comfort |
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Rubyfruit Jungle Rita Mae Brown Bawdy and moving, Rubyfruit Jungle is about growing up lesbian in America and living happily ever after. 1983, Bantam |
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10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Find Real Love |
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Ten Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Improve Their Lives |
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The Times of Harvey Milk |
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Wrestling with the Angel: Faith and Religion in the Lives of Gay Men Brian Bouldrey This collection of autobiographical essays by gifted gay writers of varied social and racial backgrounds movingly documents the variety of gay spirituality. 1996, Riverhead Books |
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