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Narcissistic Personality Disorder

The narcissistic person believes the world revolves around him or her and takes no notice of the feelings of others. They may be controlling in relationships, insisting that they are right and their way is the best way. Often they lack empathy and have difficulty in understanding how someone could think or feel differently than they do.

At the same time narcissists are often highly intelligent and successful people, and may be charming and engaging in public. In private -- or in intimate relationships -- the charm may evaporate, to be replaced by criticism and invective.

These books offer insight, perspective and guidance for dealing with the narcissist in your life.

See also: Abusive Relationships


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Recommended Self-Help Books on Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting over Narcissistic Parents
Nina W. Brown

Millions of adults grew up with immature, self-absorbed parents who made their children responsible for their physical and emotional well-being, expected admiration and constant attention, and reacted with criticism and blame when their slightest need went unmet. In this accessible book, Brown helps grown children come to terms with the results of such an upbringing, including tendencies to overcomply to others needs, withdraw when someone needs nurturing and lack self-esteem.
2001, New Harbinger

The Culture of Narcissism: American Life in an Age of Diminishing Expectations
Christopher Lasch

This book is a cultural critique first published in the mid 1970’s. Though somewhat dated, much of Lasch’s critique of American culture still rings true. He finds narcissism pervasive, with the concept of self trumping earlier notions of civic responsibility and community. Lasch looks at narcissism from a developmental perspective from birth to young adulthood. 
1991, Norton

Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood: A Novel
Rebecca Wells

The protagonist, a successful theatre director, returns home and is blindsided by her narcissistic family. She struggles to understand her mother and comes face to face with the tangled beauty of imperfect love.  
1997, Perennial

The Drama of the Gifted Child: the Search for the True Self
Alice Miller

This well-known and classic book demonstrates how narcissistic parents may use their children to meet their own needs, thus negatively affecting the children’s development. By gifted, Miller means sensitive and alert to the needs of others; she believes that the sensitivity and empathy of gifted children predispose them to be used by people with narcissistic needs. This timely book has helped many people reclaim their lost childhood. 
1981, Basic Books

This book was a Pick of the Month! Read David's full
Book Review.


The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment
Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert Pressman

In this compelling book the authors present an innovative therapeutic model for understanding and treating adults from emotionally abusive or neglectful families. The book is filled with case examples of those growing up with covert and overt narcissistic abuse and provides many techniques and methods for recovery. 
1997, Jossey-Bass

Trapped in the Mirror
Elan Golomb

This book is designed for adult children of narcissistic parents. These children, forced to conform to parental self-centeredness, grew up with a range of subtle emotional disabilities, most commonly a distorted view of their capacities. All too frequently, this damaged sense of self-worth interferes with their search for autonomy, their performance, and with their other adult relationships. The book offers practical methods to discover and maintain true identity. 
1995, Perennial Currents

Why Is It Always About You?: The 7 Deadly Sins of Narcissism
Sandy Hotchkiss

Hotchkiss explains how to cope with controlling and egotistical people who are incapable of the fundamental give and take that sustains healthy relationships. She shows how to recognize the hallmarks of unhealthy narcissism: shamelessness, magical thinking, arrogance, envy, entitlement, exploitation and bad boundaries. 
2003, The Free Press

The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family
Eleanor Payson

Using simple metaphors from The Wizard of Oz, Payson illustrates how Dorothy's journey captures all the seductive illusions and challenges that occur when we encounter the narcissist. She empowers the reader with the ABCs of unhealthy narcissism and provides step-by-step practical tools to identify, protect, and heal from these destructive relationships. 
2002, Julian Day Publications

The Words to Say It: An Autobiographical Novel
Marie Cardinal

This beautifully written memoir filled with dazzling verbal artistry describes the author’s coming to terms with and ultimately freeing herself from narcissistic parents. 
1984, Van Vactor and Good Heart


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