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Parenting: Teenagers

Parents with young children shake their heads when confronted with parenting challenges, and worry about “the teen years.” While these years often bring problems and stresses, they also offer parents the opportunity to enjoy their children as young adults-in-training, with one foot in the world of childhood, and one foot in the adult world.
Continue reading article on Parenting: Teenagers»


These recommended books offer a wide range of ideas and guidance for negotiating this important time in our children’s lives.

See also: Communication; Men’s Issues; Women’s Issues; Sexuality; Family Issues; Blended Families


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Recommended Self-Help Books on Parenting: Teenagers

All Grown Up and No Place to Go: Teenagers in Crisis
David Elkind

This book spotlights the pressures on teenagers to grow up quickly and the resulting problems, ranging from common alienation to self-destructive behavior. Quoting teenagers themselves, Elkind shows why adolescence is a time of thinking in a new key, and how young people need this time to get used to the social and emotional changes their new thinking brings. The book helps parents to understand teens in crucial ways because the root of so many adolescent frictions is the gap between what teenagers need and what our culture provides. 
1997, Perseus Books

The Balanced Mom: Raising Your Kids Without Losing Your Self
Bria Simpson

You can be a great mom and still have a life of your own. Your kids will only benefit from seeing you as a whole person and will develop greater independence and a stronger sense of who they are as people. This book offers dozens of simple tips to help you maintain strong relationships with your kids and live your life in ways that reflect your true values. 
2006, New Harbinger

Between Parent and Teenager
Haim Ginott

This valuable book continues to be one of the most useful books for parents who want to communicate more effectively with their teenagers. Ginott describes common- sense solutions for parents who are having difficulty understanding and communicating with their teenagers. The book also usefully addresses parents’ greatest challenge: to let go when they want to hold on. 
1988, Avon Books

Beyond the Big Talk: Every Parent’s Guide To Raising Sexually Healthy Teens From Middle School To High School and Beyond
Debra Haffner and Alyssa Tartaglione

The authors urge parents to keep the lines of communication constantly open with their children and to utilize “teachable moments” rather than having the one traditional “big talk” about sex. The book includes sections on early, middle, and later adolescent development. The discussion of birth control points out that parents can discourage kids from having sex while at the same time advocating safe sex. The book also addresses internet use, sexual harassment, and body image concerns. 
2002, New Market Press

This book was a Pick of the Month! Read David's full

Book Review.


Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul
Jack Canfield et. al.

This book contains stories, poems, and cartoons relating to the specific troubles that traumatize teenagers everywhere. Much of the book is written by teens themselves which gives it a very accessible and informal tone. The book is always respectful and does not minimize any of the dramas of adolescence. It contains important lessons on the nature of friendship and love, the importance of belief in the future, and the value of respect for oneself and others. 
1997, HCI Teens

For Lesbian Parents: Your Guide to Helping Your Family Grow Up Happy, Healthy, and Proud
Suzanne M. Johnson, Elizabeth O'Connor

The authors, both developmental psychologists, are co-parenting two daughters. Their book offers help on explaining lesbianism to children and explores what lesbian parents can do to help children explain their family situation to their peers. The book also addresses the complexity of dealing with the attitudes of the outside world, including relatives, school, and doctors or mental health specialists. 
2001, The Guilford Press

Help Your Teenager Beat an Eating Disorder
James Lock, Daniel le Grange

The authors emphasize the need for parents to take immediate action in obtaining help for their teens and not to dwell on the "why." This comprehensive book summarizes recent research and moves on to help parents understand eating disorders, looking at the distorted thinking behind a teenagers behavior and what the research says about the best ways to treat anorexia and bulimia. 
2005, The Guilford Press

The Naked Truth About Sex: A Guide to Intelligent Sexual Choices for Teenagers and Twentysomethings
Roger W. Libby

Renowned sexologist Dr. Roger Libby gives teens and twentysomethings the hard facts about physical intimacy in this refreshingly sex-positive book. Without moralizing or judging, he encourages them to develop a healthy, vibrant sexuality to be celebrated with self-respect and consideration of others.  
2006, Freedom Press

Parenting a Bipolar Child: What to Do And Why
Nancy B. Austin, Gianni L. Faedda

The authors of this book, specialists in mood disorders, offer a comprehensive overview of the available treatment options and most effective parenting strategies for dealing with children diagnosed with bipolar disorder. The book offers advice on parental self-care and integrating the care of the bipolar child with the needs of the rest of the family.
2006, New Harbinger

Positive Parenting Your Teens
Karen Joslin and Mary Decher

This book provides techniques that emphasize cooperation, active listening, and mutual respect. It includes typical problems encountered, sample dialogue for guidance in talking through a problem, preventive measures to incorporate into day to day parenting, and advice about when to back off and how to seek outside help. 
1997, Ballantine Books

Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls
Mary Pipher

At adolescence, says Mary Pipher, “girls become ‘female impersonators’ who fit their whole selves into small crowded spaces.” Many lose spark, interest, and even IQ points as a “girl-poisoning” society forces a choice between being shunned or staying true to oneself and struggling to stay within a narrow definition of female. She offers prescriptions for changing society and compassionate strategies with which to revive adolescent girls’ lost sense of self. 
1995, Ballantine Books

When Living Hurts: For Teenagers and Young Adults – A Lively What to Do Book for Yourself or Someone You Care About Who Feels Discouraged, Sad, or Lonely
Sol Gordon

This book is directed at teenagers who may be feeling suicidal, as well as their friends and family. Gordon offers concrete and concise advice about how to deal with someone who is feeling depressed or suicidal. Gordon does not give general ideas of what to say or do; he states, “Say this, not that. Do this, not that.” Among the topics discussed which may cause depression are troubles with parents, loss of faith, sex and love worries, and troubles with peers. A list of crisis and suicide prevention hotlines nationwide is included. 
1994, Urj Press

When Parents Disagree and What You Can Do About It
Ron Taffel

This book is a hands-on practical guide to understanding child rearing differences between parents and how to work through conflicts arising from these. It is filled with real life examples from Dr. Taffel's practice and offers practical and reasonable guidance that helps both parents feel that they are, after all, on the same side. 
2002, The Guilford Press



You and Your Adolescent: A Parent’s Guide for Ages 10-20
Laurence Steinberg and Ann Levine

This book debunks a number of popular myths: adolescents are inherently difficult, peer pressure is evil, and the nuclear family is in decline. Age-appropriate chapters discuss physical health, psychological development, and socialization skills; an introductory section describes the characteristics of a “good parent.” Resources include guidance on talking about drugs, sexually transmitted diseases, peer pressure, and puberty. By taking the mystery out of adolescence, the authors aid parents in making their teenagers’ development a period of satisfying growth toward adulthood. 
1997, HarperResource

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