Sexuality and Sex Education Self-Help Books
We are all sexed and sexual beings, from birth to death. Western culture has had a long and complex struggle with human sexuality.
From the denial of sexuality to fetishizing the female body to sell products: ours is a fantastically complicated and twisted relationship to this primordial life force.
The self help books and DVDs listed below offer solid information and enlightening perspectives on the many facets of sexuality.
Recommended Self Help Books on Sexuality and Sex Education
America's War on Sex: The Attack on Law, Lust and Liberty
In Mary Klein's incisive analysis of the current struggle around publicly legislated approaches to sexuality he frames the battle between "erotophiles" who value or tolerate sexuality and "erotophobes" who are made anxious by it. Klein pulls no punches. He likens the religious call for American laws to regulate bedroom activity, entertainment, information access, or medical treatment as little different from the law imposed elsewhere by the Taliban. This self help book is an impassioned plea for more pluralism, less govenmental intrusiveness in the private lives of citizens - and more fun. 2008, Praeger Publishers
The Art of Sexual Ecstasy: The Path of Sacred Sexuality for Western Lovers
This landmark book on human sexuality makes the sacred lovemaking techniques of the East fully comprehensible to western readers. Elegantly illustrated and filled with detailed exercises, it helps the reader acquire new attitudes and broaden his or her range of experience. This self help book is especially strong on methods for couples to revitalize and strengthen their relationship. 1991, Jeremy P. Tarcher
Better Than Ever: Love and Sex at Midlife
Famed sex therapist, Bernie Zilbergeld, gives the good news that one does not have to be twenty in order to enjoy a deeply satisfying life of love. In this self help book, he explains the wonderous world of love and sex among men and women aged 45 - 87. He provides practical solutions to common obstacles that get in the way of love and sex. 2005, Crown House Publishing
Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out
Bi Any Other Name presents the personal stories of an extraordinarily diverse group of people, showing that really there is no "typical" bisexual. Even more than gays, bisexuals often feel left out or invisible since our society primarily constructs sexual roles as either/or: a person is either gay or straight. That’s it. Our society leaves no room for the enormous spectrum between the two. This useful self help book is recommended for everyone -- bi, gay, lesbian, straight, undefined, curious – who wants to understand more about sexual identity.
Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex
Mary Roach, "the funniest science writer in the country," tackles the study of sexual physiology in Bonk. She shows us how and why sexual arousal and orgasm, two of the most complex, delightful, and amazing scientific phenomena on earth, can be so hard to achieve and what science is doing to slowly make the bedroom a more satisfying place. 2008, Norton
Changing Bodies, Changing Lives: A Book for Teens on Sex and Relationships
For grades eight and up. This comprehensive self help book is clearly written and includes discussion of sexual technique, STD’s and the danger of promiscuous sex, gay sex and sexual identity and teenage pregnancy and its alternatives. The latest information on the physical and emotional aspects of puberty, sexuality, eating disorders and healthcare for teenagers. 1998, Three Rivers Press
Enduring Desire: Your Guide to Lifelong Intimacy
In Enduring Desire Metz and McCarthy provide real-life stories and helpful individual and couple exercises that help readers to reach for realistic and high quality sexual satisfaction as a couple. The authors encourage couples to set positive and realistic sexual expectations without trying to live up to some imagined standard from the movies. Their message is down-to-earth and full of encouragement for all couples of any age. 2010, Routledge
The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures
For anyone who has ever dreamed of love, sex, and companionship beyond the limits of traditional monogamy, this groundbreaking guide navigates the infinite possibilities that open relationships can offer. Experienced ethical sluts Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy dispel myths and cover all the skills necessary to maintain a successful and responsible polyamorous lifestyle--from self-reflection and honest communication to practicing safe sex and raising a family. Individuals and their partners will learn how to discuss and honor boundaries, resolve conflicts, and to define relationships on their own terms. 2009, Celestial Arts, 2nd edition
Everything You Never Wanted Your Kids to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid They'd Ask): The Secrets to Surviving Your Child's Sexual Development from Birth to the TeensAcknowledging that kids are inherently sexual (male fetuses, for example, have erections in utero), professors Richardson and Schuster show how parents can influence their children's sexual development in healthy ways through honest communication. They walk readers through the development of an average girl and boy, from infant seeds of sexuality to teenager's first experience of intercourse, and fearlessly cover topics from toddler sex play to dating, love, homosexuality, masturbation, birth control, STDs and pregnancy. Thoroughly researched, extremely well written and chock-full of personal stories from parents, this self help "survival guide" should be required reading for any parent who believes in being open about these touchy issues. 2004, Three Rivers Press
This comprehensive "how to" book on sex is entertaining, honest and enlightening. It is written in a casual style and filled with enjoyable quotes from real couples and sex therapists. Beautiful line drawings illustrate the chapters which also include a great deal of information on sexuality as a cultural phenomenon. Particularly useful for heterosexual couples. 2012, Goofy Foot Press, 7th edition
Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex
?In America today, it is nearly impossible to publish a book that says children and teenagers can have sexual pleasure and be safe too,? writes journalist Levine, who argues that sex is not necessarily bad for minors and that puritanical attitudes often backfire. She notes the disturbing trend toward pathologizing young children?s eroticized play and criticizes the abstinence-only approach to sex education. Harmful to Minors offers fresh alternatives to fear and silence, describing sex-positive approaches that are ethically based and focus on common sense. 2002, University of Minnesota Press
Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Trauma
The first encouraging, sex-positive self help guide for all women survivors of sexual assault — heterosexual, bisexual, lesbian, coupled, and single — who want to reclaim their sex lives. While most books on the topic broach sexuality only to reassure women that it is all right to say “no” to unwanted sex, Healing Sex encourages women to learn how to say “yes” — to their own desires and on their own terms. This mind-body approach to healing from sexual trauma was created by Staci Haines, who has been educating in the area of sexual abuse, sex education, and somatic healing for over 15 years. Her self help techniques are ideal for anyone looking for a new way to heal from trauma, beyond traditional talk therapy. 2007, Cleis Press
The Heart and Soul of Sex: Making the ISIS Connection
Based on a landmark sex survey, researcher and sex therapist Ogden found "the language of spiritual experience comes closest to expressing the fullness of our sexual response, for it is the language of connection and ecstasy." This self-help book guides the reader on a path to her sexual "center" where healing, ecstasy and transformation occur. 2006, Trumpter
Read David's extensive Book Review on The Heart and Soul of Sex.
Kinsey (DVD - Two-Disc Special Edition)
One of the best films of 2004, Kinsey pays tribute to the flawed but honorable man who revolutionized our understanding of human sexuality. In presenting Kinsey as a driven social misfit the film reveals the depth of his own humanity, and the incalculable benefit his research had on our collective sexual enlightenment. DVD Release Date: May 17, 2005. Studio: 20th Century Fox
Let Me Count the Ways: Discovering Great Sex Without Intercourse
Two of America’s leading sex and gender experts show readers how to make sex more enjoyable by breaking away from the repetitive mechanics of intercourse. The book describes a path toward a more varied, playful and intimate sexuality, debunking myths such as “impotence,” “frigidity,” and “foreplay;” indeed this self help book shatters the myth that intercourse equals sex itself. 1999, Putnam
Make Love Not War: The Sexual Revolution - An Unfettered History
In this account of the sexual revolution of the 1960’s and 70’s in the U.S., Princeton historian Allyn mixes a smooth narrative of events (e.g., the legalization of birth control, abortion, and interracial marriage), the famous (Hugh Hefner, Masters and Johnson), and not so famous (Jeff Poland of the Sexual Freedom League), with occasional analytic excursions into dramatic changes in society and individual lives. 2001, Routledge
The New Good Vibrations Guide to Sex: The Most Complete Sex Manual Ever Written
This candid, upbeat, friendly self help guide to enhancing your sex life insists that “there’s more sexual pleasure available than most people experience” and “achieving this pleasure should not be difficult, dangerous or expensive.” Explicit line drawings show sex between male-female, male-male, and female-female partners as well as solitary acts with vibrators. Its wide-ranging and entertaining mix of information and good humor make this self help book useful to people of all ages and persuasions. 2002, Cleis Press
The New Joy of SexA new edition of the best-selling classic guide to sex features completely redone illustrations, erotic duotone photographs, and a text that has been restructured to address today’s health concerns. Witty, wise, uninhibited, frank and exuberant discussion of sex. 1992, Pocket Books
The New Sex and Love After 60"The best all-around self help sex manual for older adults." Thorough coverage of the effects of normal aging, medical problems, and drugs on sexuality and how to overcome roadblocks; physical and emotional sexual fitness; singlehood and relationships; sexual enhancement tips; dating, remarriage, and one's children; and finding help. 2002, Ballantine Books
Nymphomania: A HistoryHistorian Groneman argues that nymphomania is a metaphor reflecting society's ambivalence toward and discomfort with female desire. She traces the history from the Victorian era when it was considered an organic disease. Psychoanalytic therory posited an "immature" inability to enjoy vaginal organisms. By mid-twentieth century, "sexperts" sought to reconcile evidence of multiple organisms and easy arousal with notions of morality. 2001, W.W. Norton & Company
Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships
Relationship expert and bestselling author Tristan Taormino offers a bold new strategy for creating loving, lasting relationships. Drawing on in-depth interviews with over a hundred women and men, Opening Up explores the real-life benefits and challenges of all styles of open relationships—from partnered nonmonogamy to solo polyamory. With her refreshingly down-to-earth style and sharp wit, Taormino offers solutions for making an open relationship work, including tips on dealing with jealousy, negotiating boundaries, finding community, parenting, and time management. Opening Up will change the way you think about intimacy. 2008, Cleis Press
Red Thread of PassionWhat do Walt Whitman and Annie Sprinkle have in common, or D. H. Lawrence and a porn queen? They share experiential knowledge that sex is one of the most profoundly spiritual human experiences. In an engagingly confessional voice, Guy describes his lifelong quest to understand the place of sexual passion in our spiritual lives. His self-revelation redeemingly serves as a bridge to the more extreme experiences he finds in literature and in life. This is a genuinely lusty self help book and a genuinely spiritual one, too. 1999, Shambhala
Sadomasochism: Powerful Pleasures
This self help book addresses a wide range of issues that confront those who practice S/M as part of their overall sexuality. It debunks many widely believed myths regarding S/M utilizing empirical research. Kleinplatz and Moser contribute to a view of S/M that moves away from pathology, toward a pro-active and responsive view of sexuality. 2006, Harrington Park Press
Satisfaction: The Art of the Female Orgasm
Pleasing color sketches and simple diagrams adorn the pages of Satisfaction by famed Sex and the City actor Kim Cattrall. Simple concepts--open communication, trust, love, and a consistent interest in pleasing one another--are the ingredients for an enriching and fulfilling sex life that can bring two people ever closer, according to the text. The facts speak for themselves: when pressed, women will confess in droves that they are sexually frustrated. It's tricky to communicate one's carnal desires to one's lover, yet both parties must be open to this type of ongoing discussion for the formula to work. 2003, Warner Books
Sex Disasters (And How To Survive Them)
The intimate nature of sex makes it difficult for people to discuss both the pitfalls and joys of erotic behavior. Sex Disasters helps with the mishaps you might encounter and help you avoid situations before they happen. Just knowing some generalities that you didn't get in your high school sex education class or even in your current sexual experience might help you now and in the future. The simplest to the most complicated subjects are covered and discussed; from how to get certain stains out to legal and safety aspects. This self help book is witty, and probably more helpful than any parental talk you ever got – or didn’t get! 2002, Greenery Press
Sex in AmericaThis is the popular report of the most authoritative study ever of sexual behavior in the United States. Its most startling conclusion is that most Americans don’t “do it” as much as the media and previous surveys such as Kinsey’s have made us think. The book provides in-depth information on the wide range of sexual practices in this country. 1995, Warner Books
Sex Is Not a Natural Act and Other Essays
A newly revised collection of provocative essays on sex and its many meanings in our culture by one of the most prolific, original, and highly regarded sexologists in the field today. Tiefer focuses on the social construction of sexuality: “a kiss is not a kiss; your orgasm is not the same as George Washington’s, premarital sex in Peru is not premarital sex in Peoria, abortion in Rome at the time of Caesar is not abortion at the time of John Paul II, and rape is neither an act of sex nor an act of violence – all of these actions remain to be defined by individual experience within one’s period and culture.” A fascinating and thought-provoking self help book. 2004, Westview Press
Sex Over 50A frank, confident guide to the uninhibited pleasures of sex – for those pushing fifty and for those on the far side of it – that shows how to overcome the common problems mature couples experience and bring fulfillment and intimacy back to any sex life. 2008, Perigee Trade
Sex Smart: How Your Childhood Shaped Your Sexual Life and What to Do About It
The author describes milestones of sexual development during childhood and adolescence and explains how this influences one’s adult sexuality. She demonstrates how family dynamics in childhood underlie adult sexual problems from sexual aversion to sexual addiction. Case studies, “body maps,” and exercises allow readers to work through sexual issues. 2009, iUniverse
Sexual Anorexia: Overcoming Sexual Self-Hatred
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Sexual anorexia is an extreme fear of sexual intimacy and the obsessive avoidance of sex. The authors examine its causes, often arising from childhood trauma and other forms of abuse and neglect, and then describe concrete tasks and plans for exploring intimacy and restoring healthy sexuality. 1997, Hazelden
Sexual Health and Erotic Freedom
Eminent sexologist Barnaby Barrett discusses the tragedy of America's bipolar sexual compulsions, that of sex-phobia and sex-obsession, which create a volatile and unhealthy social environment. Rather than gloomily cataloguing the sexual ills of American society, Barratt presents a bold vision for sexual health and erotic freedom that incorporates the broad scope of healthy sexual expression across cultures, psychological research, and medical knowledge. 2005, Xlibris
Sexuality in Mid-LifeThis frank text provides a discussion of topics of particular importance in midlife, such as intimacy, sexual desire, psychological development, the six eras of sexual life, extramarital affairs, menopause, and sexual impairments due to new antidepressants. He addresses the many phases of love: falling in love, being in love, and spiritual love. 1998, Kluwer
Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm
This life-changing guide teaches both men and women how to use the practice of Orgasmic Meditation to slow down, connect emotionally, and allow authentic female sexual satisfaction to occur. The book asserts that, with practice, every woman can become truly orgasmic. Slow Sex encourages the enjoyment of daily intimacy, and asserts that paying attention is the foundation of pleasure. 2011, Grand Central Life & Style
The Soul of Sex: Cultivating Life as an Act of Love
?We have a habit of talking about sex as merely physical, and yet nothing has more soul,? Moore begins. He focuses on historical, philosophical, religious and psychological aspects of sexuality that are often overlooked. The author believes that if we paid more attention to beauty, sensuality and pleasure, we might actually enhance our spirituality. 1999, Perennial
Still Doing It: Women and Men Over Sixty Write About Their Sexuality
The writers (60-plus to 80-plus) of Still Doing It all enjoy a rich sexual life. Some write about sex with a longtime partner and how they use fantasy, costume, videos, and sex toys to keep their relationships new. Some have multiple partners (including a few who "swing"), or describe their search for partners. Some choose self-pleasuring. Be forewarned that these erotic stories are extremely graphic, with take-no-prisoners descriptions of body parts, arousal techniques, connections, positions, and releases. The writers' sexual orientations are an assortment of straight, gay, and bisexual. 2000, Down There Press
Tantra: The Art of Conscious Loving
This artfully illustrated self help book distills the art of Tantric practice into simple language with clear explanations, helpful exercises and gentle encouragement. Master teachers Charles and Caroline Muir offer modern couples ancient Tantric secrets for deepening relationships, intimacy, and passion. 1990, Mercury House
Ten Keys to Successful Sexual Partnering
"Healthy sexuality is always safe, sane, and consensual." These simple words sum up the essence of Barratt's wise and generous counsel for successful sexual partnering. This helpful self help guide offers direct, non-judgmental recommendations for people of all orientations and practices. 2005, Xlibris
Transcendent Sex: When Lovemaking Opens the Veil
Developmental psychologist Wade claims that lovemaking can be a path to soulful realization. In this book based on first-hand accounts of nearly 100 respondents, she describes ordinary people's spontaneous spiritual awakenings through transcendent sex. Wade describes many forms that mystical may take, provides warnings on the down side of altered state sex and offers suggestions for facilitating transcendent sex. A fascinating and unusual self help book. 2004, Pocket
The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women
The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women offers comprehensive information on all aspects of anal eroticism and health. It's for all women- heterosexual, lesbian, or bisexual- who want to learn how to enjoy anal sex with a partner or by yourself. In the book you'll learn how to build trust and communicate your desires; how to give and how to receive pleasurable anal penetration; how to please your man; helpful tips on safety, preparation, and hygiene; and where to buy toys, accessories, and safer sex supplies. 2006 Cleis Press, second edition
The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus: How to Go Down on a Woman and Give Her Exquisite Pleasure
This self help book is a resource for people who are looking to expand their expertise or are simply curious. Sex educator Violet Blue provides step-by-step instructions for going down on a woman as well as accurate up-to-date information on female anatomy and response. In a friendly, witty tone, Blue discusses games for lovers, positions, safe sex, a variety of techniques, erotic book and video recommendations and tips for effectively communicating with a partner. 2002, Cleis Press
The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio: How to Go Down on a Man and Give Him Mind-Blowing Pleasure
This self help book addresses many misconceptions women have about the male sexual cycle and male orgasm, touching on the unique individuality of every man. No two men are exactly alike in need, in preferences, in touch. 2010, Cleis Press, 2nd edition
The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability: For All of Us Who Live with Disabilities, Chronic Pain, and IllnessUseful for absolutely everyone, regardless of age, gender, or sexual orientation, the book addresses a wide range of disabilities — from chronic fatigue, back pain, and asthma to spinal cord injury, hearing and visual impairment, multiple sclerosis, and more. The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability provides readers with encouragement, support, and all the information they need to create a sex life that works for them. The authors cover all aspects of sex and disability, including building a positive sexual self-image; positions to minimize stress and maximize pleasure; dealing with fatigue or pain during sex; finding partners and talking with partners about sex and disability; adapting sex toys; and more. 2007, Cleis Press
Virgin: The Untouched History"By any material reckoning, virginity does not exist," writes Blank in this informative, funny and provocative analysis of one of the most elusive—and prized—qualities of human sexuality. Blank, an independent scholar, has pieced together a history of how humans have constructed the idea of virginity (almost always female and heterosexual) and engineered its uses to suit cultural and political forces. Thoroughly researched, carefully argued and written with a sly sense of humor, this is a bright addition to the popular literature of women's and cultural studies. 2007, Bloomsbury USA
Why Is Sex Fun?: The Evolution of Human Sexuality
Unique aspects of human sexuality that are not shared with other mamals: female menopause, male's role in society, having sex in private and - most unusual of all - having sex for fun instead of for procreation. Biologist and science author Diamond uses comparative evolution to pose credible and thought-provoking explanations. 1998, Basic Books
Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love
Anthropologist Fisher argues that much of our romantic behavior is hard-wired. Citing behavioral research into the effects of two crucial chemicals, norepinephrine and dopamine, she includes fascinating information on romance and love among non-human animals. Fisher also reports on the behaviors that lead to successful life-long partnerships and offers numerous tips on staying in love. 2005, Owl Books
