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| The Guide to Self-Help Books |
Communication |
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The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You’re Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed or Desperate Harriet Lerner Best-selling author and therapist Lerner offers clear and practical advice on how to speak out in a wide variety of difficult situations. Recognizing the difficulty of communication while in an emotional state, she supplies guidance on sharing vulnerability, voicing concerns, apologizing and setting limits. Filled with compelling stories and case examples. 2002, Quill |
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Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most Douglas Stone, et. al. The authors offer practical advice for handling daily confrontations and unpleasant exchanges in a manner that accomplishes their objective and diminishes the possibility that anyone will be needlessly hurt. They show that such communications actually comprise three separate components: the “what happened” conversation (verbalizing what we believe was said and done), the “feelings” conversation (communicating and acknowledging each party’s emotional impact), and the “identity” conversation (expressing the situation’s underlying personal meaning). This book will boost your confidence in having those difficult conversations. 2000, Penguin Putnam |
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How Can I Get Through to You?: Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and Women Terrence Real Real believes that men and women do not speak the same emotional language because boys’ early emotional relationships were squelched by peers, siblings and fathers, while girls early on learned to be accommodating in emotional relationships. He believes healthy marriage follows a repeated pattern of harmony, disharmony, and restoration; and teaches skills for accomplishing the crucial ongoing task of relationship repair, including holding the relationship in high regard, preserving intimacy, and using relational speaking, listening and negotiating skills. A practical and helpful book. 2002, Scribners |
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How to Communicate: The Ultimate Guide to Improving Your Personal and Professional Relationships Davis McKay, et. al. This comprehensive and direct “how to” book on verbal communication is a practical and thoughtful primer on how to listen and how to speak in order to improve the quality of communication. 1997, MJF Books |
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How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish This book is an excellent communication tool kit which provides a step-by-step approach to improving relationships in your house. The book’s down-to-earth and respectful approach makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding. 1999, Perennial Currents |
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Intimate Strangers: Men and Women Together Lillian Rubin This book explains how the differences between women and men arise and how they affect such critical issues as intimacy, sexuality, dependency, work and parenting. Lillian Rubin decodes human behavior with a lively combination of intuition and scholarship and offers hope for every man and woman who has yearned for an intimate relationship and wondered why it seemed so elusive. 1990, Perennial |
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I Only Say This Because I Love You: Talking to Your Parents, Partner, Siblings and Kids When You’re All Adults Deborah Tannen Sociolinguist Deborah Tannen explains why talk in families often goes in circles and provides helpful tools for reconciliation and rebuilding. She emphasizes the importance of separating meanings of words from meta-messages, unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of the relationships and the way things are said. 2002, Ballantine Books |
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Opening Up: The Healing Power of Expressing Emotions James Pennebaker Psychologist Pennebaker has studied thousands of people for over a decade to learn how the confession of troubling feelings benefits health. He finds that these benefits may occur whether you tell your secrets to a friend, a therapist, a priest or write about them privately. He clearly describes the cost to the body and mind of holding back painful thoughts and feelings. 1997, Guilford Pressn |
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People Skills Robert Bolton The author describes the twelve most common communication barriers, showing how these “roadblocks” damage relationships by increasing defensiveness, aggressiveness, or dependency. He explains how to acquire the ability to listen, assert yourself, resolve conflicts, and work out problems with others: skills that will help you communicate calmly, even in stressful or emotionally charged situations. 1986, Touchstone |
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You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation Deborah Tannen This thought-provoking book describes in clear detail how women and men miscommunicate with each other. For most women conversation is a way of connecting and negotiating. Men use conversation to achieve or maintain social status or to impart knowledge. This book was on the New York Times Best Seller List for 4 years. Filled with lively and entertaining examples of real conversations, this book gives you the tools to understand what went wrong and to find a common language to strengthen relationships. 2001, Perennial Currents |
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